Believe

Saw this sign on the bus one day and went back later to take its picture. The insights it shared with me have changed over time, but within those two words a-top that view is what defines we humans; despite our limited vision, we achieve amazing things...

Saw this sign on the bus one day and went back later to take its picture. The insights it shared with me have changed over time, but within those two words a-top that view is what defines we humans; despite our limited vision, we achieve amazing things…

Had a dream about an old friend… Took a few minutes to look them up on the o’l interwebs and I couldn’t be more proud of all they have done with their life.

A younger me would feel bad about not living up to his own potential, thinking that by comparison he has squandered his own single chance at existence. And it’s true, I have certainly failed my younger self, but I’m still here and I haven’t given up. I won’t give up and I will never stop remembering the amazing moments given to me by so many wonderful people. I also know a few things that younger me never even dreamed of!

I’m not sure why I became “a strange old hermit”, phased out of normal time as life rushed by, but sloshing under that dark cloud of my own making, lost and uncertain, eventually I found my arms stretched to the four lights of dawn who lovingly hovered about me. As from a terrible dream, filled with so much truth, I slowly awoke and accepted that I never stopped caring, I never stopped dreaming, and the only person who didn’t believe in me was… me.

My turning point was when I made Rescue Girlies for my girls in 2013 – I “just did it”, start to finish, on my own and on time, because, for the first time in forever, I believed in myself. It doesn’t seem like much, making a derivative computer game, but for me it was the unequivocal proof that, indeed, I am not a waste of life; Being a husband, being a father, being a son and a friend, are wonderful parts of my life, but achieving a difficult personal goal was like staring into the face of God – in that moment I believed.

In your own ways, I’m proud of all of you and I am thankful for the time you shared with me. Take a moment to be proud of yourselves too, because you deserve it, whether you believe it or not. But, believe… do everything you can to believe in yourself.